What If
by TheBitterAftertaste
Summary: What If- Kate Winslet, Song fic of when Sam left Donna telling her he was engaged, dunno if its any good R&R please :D Suckish Summary hehe


A/N: Hi I've been so delved into my recent fan fiction I thought I would take a break and try a song fic, this is what if by Kate Winslet and it is about Donna after Sam had left her when she was younger, hope you enjoy and it's obviously a one shot, dedicated to Liv and Mel, love you :D

Donna sat on the beach with her head in her hands sobbing at what had happened, Sam Carmichael, who ten minutes ago had his arms wrapped around her telling her how much he loved her, had gone to London to get engaged, leaving Donna alone and devastated. Her heart felt as if it was about to explode in her chest. The dreams they had dreamt, the thoughts they had shared over the past few weeks had been amazing, she thought... she thought she loved him.

_Here I stand alone  
With this weight upon my heart  
And it will not go away  
In my head I keep on looking back  
Right back to the start  
Wondering what it was that made you change_

She tried to forgive him, she wanted to forgive him, but the stubborn Sheridan gene took over, and so did her anger as she lashed out at him, screaming senselessly, furious at how she could be 'the other woman'. She was too proud to be his bit on the side and sent him away. But what if things had been different?

_Well I tried  
But I had to draw the line  
And still this question keeps on spinning in my mind_

Could she had ever been with a man who had treated her this way, could she do that to herself and , if he had stayed and left the engagement, would his attitude had changed? Donna wept softly in the sand at the thought of being used for sex. Their first time had been so special, on the very spot she was sat in, she was sure this was the person she wanted to lose her virginity too, that they were so madly in love they would never be broken. She felt torn in two, half of her wanted to run after him and shower him with kisses, telling him it wouldn't matter, she loved her. That is how she truly felt, he had hurt he deeply, but she was willing to get past it and stay with him. The other side of her wanted to never see his face again, the fact that her pride and dignity was too important to overcome this obstacle was standing in her way of taking her first option.

_What if I had never let you go  
Would you be the man I used to know  
If I'd stayed  
If you'd tried  
If we could only turn back time  
But I guess we'll never know_

Donna took out a piece of paper from her pocket and gently unfolded it, trying not to rip it from her visibly shaking hands, she stared at the image on the paper for quite some time, until it made her eyes water. The hotel Sam had drawn up for them both was beautiful, it looked so exotic and stunning Donna wanted to believe at the time that building the hotel, and her life with Sam was possible, if he hadn't had been engaged, would we still be together in all those years to come? Would we still be as madly in love? Donna thought as she walked to the ocean, she stood by the outer edge of the tide and tore the sketch into tiny pieces, releasing them into the air, so they eventually drifted into the ocean and sunk, like Donna's hopes and dreams.

_Many roads to take  
Some to joy  
Some to heart-ache  
Anyone can lose their way  
And if I said that we could turn it back  
Right back to the start  
Would you take the chance and make the change_

And what about Sam? How is he feeling right now? Donna thought as tears started streaming down her cheeks. Would he be upset? Or be thankful he got a lucky escape from her? Donna walked slowly back to the pathway, stopping at a particular tree where she watched Sam carve their initials in a love heart. She read S.C + D.S 4EVER and a sudden flush of rage came over her as she tried to scrape out the markings, if it had been forever, why would you leave me? She thought.

_Do you think how it would have been sometimes  
Do you pray that I'd never left your side_

Staring at the marked tree again, Donna realised, _what am I doing, I love him and I still want him, even if he did treat me this way I know he loved me too, I need to find him and tell him I love him before it's too late and he leaves forever! _She thought running up to the ferry dock. She was breathless, tired and emotional, but she needed to beg him not to leave her, to take her into his arms and say 'I love you' like he did only moments ago. She saw the ferry from a distance and only ran faster. She got to the dock to see the ferry sailing away.

"Sam!" She yelled tearfully. He didn't even turn around. Donna fell onto her knees and sobbed frantically.

"I don't want to lose you forever." She whispered, hugging herself.

_If only we could turn the hands of time  
If I could take it back would you still be mine_

'Cos I tried  
But I had to draw the line  
And still this question keep on spinning in my mind.

_  
What if I had never let you go  
Would you be the man I used to know  
What if I had never walked away  
'Cos I still love you more than I can say  
If I'd stayed  
If you'd tried  
If we could only turn back time  
But I guess we'll never know  
We'll never know_


End file.
